I can find all kinds of important things to do when I should be editing my film or writing. And what better project on a cold December day than going out into the woods and bringing back a tree or two?  I don’t mean Christmas trees, we’re doing that next weekend. I mean Trees. My wife got the idea from the Waldorf School of Baltimore. We went to their winter fair last Saturday and I checked it out: instead of a conventional “jungle gym” they’ve got a couple of huge old trees piled up for kids to climb on (one of the many cool things about Waldorf). Our three-year-old is crazy about climbing.  She is sitting on my shoulders right now as I type this.

I built a homemade playhouse, so I’m not about to go out and buy a jungle gym.  But I have to get this kid off my back.  The solution: find some trees.  The first tree is some kind of maple, I think. And I didn’t cut it down, beavers did.  The teeth marks are on the trunk to prove it.  The second tree is really just a huge log. It was knocked off a gi-normous oak in a lightning storm.  The beaver-felled maple has to be pulled out of a thicket and trimmed down to make it climber-friendly. Luckily, I am able to barter some services from Backhoe Bob. Otherwise, this project is going nowhere.

There’s a bit of engineering involved in moving the trees, and in the precise placement. They have to be stable, close but not too close to the bonfire pit, offer interesting climbing possibilities, and present dynamic visuals. There were chains involved, and chainsaws, and shivering.

This is a one hundred percent natural, recycled, and organic play structure. Of course I was fortunate that the materials were close at hand (and the backhoe). I’m thinking that since it makes a great Christmas gift for my daughter, it would make a great gift for other kids, too.  I could start a website. We could package and deliver organic play structure kits. To remain competitive with Wall Mart I will offer free shipping over the holidays. You may now purchase the Busy Beaver Organic Play Structure, delivered, assembled, and signed by the author, including a downloadable user’s manual and 5/8 customer service, where you talk to a real person.  It can also be ordered through Amazon and from the Restoration Hardware catalogue for the low holiday price of only $7,000.00.

My daughter won’t go near the thing.  It’s too cold out!

-david warfield