Spring Break.
Once a year it happens. Usually I ignore it. Maybe a mini-vacation by car, or a quick trip to visit relatives.
Not this year.
After much planning, plan-changing, and plane-changing our group collectively settled on a full throttle excursion to Thailand and India. Trains, Planes, and Automobiles…and Boats.
What better way to give my almost teenage son those oh-so valuable life lessons and cultural experiences?
- The loving and respectful nature of Muay Thai.
- Same, same…but different: How to identify Lady Boys.
- New and exciting ways to play Ping-Pong!
Due to time constraints, we had to forego the above mentioned activities and stick with the more traditional tourist trappings. World Heritage Sites, Beaches, Massages, and Malls…
Malls? Yes.
Believe it or not, if you come to visit me in Nepal, you will quickly realize there is no possibility of brand shopping like in the States. One might think “Great! To Hell with commercialism!” And for the most part I agree, but it is still comforting to see some of those familiar brands that stock the shelves back home. Regardless of viewpoint, my shopping was very limited since an Asian XL is about the same size as a US Medium. And finally, in defense of brands (though I prefer Atwater’s coffee), three months without Starbucks is long enough. Besides, when travelling in a group larger than three, people’s needs quickly diverge and multiply. Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Rolex, SuperDry, Mango, anyone? Anyone? So, thank you, MBK Mall of Bangkok. Thank you, Select CityWalk Mall of New Delhi.
Just a note on Thailand. Who named these places? I want to meet this person. I apologize too, because this is my ugly American, my inner teenager, rearing his ignorant face…but still…
I went to Bangkok, and from there we said Phuket…lets go to Phi Phi (pronounced PeePee). I heard Krabi was nice…but you know we really should go back to Phuket, because Patong has Bangla Road. Even the subtlest mispronunciation (or not), provided me endless laughter. The sun melted away all of my cultural sensitivity. But I love Thailand. And I don’t think the Thai people think too much about it. They can just smile and nod, and say “Sawateeee Kraaaaaaap!” I believe the translation is: “Hello, now please get out of my face.” I walked away from the experience feeling like these people really, really care about me…and I care about them.
India, I should say more, but then there was a whole blog dedicated to you on What Weekly already. It was very well written, so I will just stick with some pictures for now.
In conclusion, here is my (drumroll, please…)
Spring Break 2014 Top 5 List:
- Massage. On the beach. Twice a day. 400 Baht (about $15 for one hour). Oh yeah!
(I did not take this picture…but it is one of my favorite haunts…taken from www.beachfrontclub.com)
This is my back up photo for massages…even though it has nothing to do with massages, it’s nice, n’est-ce pas? - Boat rides. Initially, I tried to avoid them like the plague, but after snorkeling in pristine waters with sea turtles, and island hopping to exotic locales around Phi Phi (including the seriously stunning Maya Beach of The Beach fame), or along the crocodile filled canals of Bangkok…I am a believer. Another way of embracing my inner tourist.
- Thai Temple Tour. If you don’t know by now, I am a fan of alliteration.
- Train Trip to the Taj. See above.
Under no circumstances are you to bring books or hands to the Taj Mahal. But on the other side of the Yamuna, You can do whatever you want! - Gems of Jaipur*. I have been lucky enough to visit the Pink City in the desert several times in the past year, and it is magical.
*Technically not part of the official Spring Break 2014 because I went alone on business after the fact, but still…
Spring Break 2014 Bottom 5 List:
- Massage. On one particular occasion I asked for “full pressure”. You have been warned.
At an unnamed resort in Phuket, I experienced the most painful massage I have ever had in my entire life. (What’s in Room 101 Winston?)…DO NOT BE FOOLED BY THIS PETITE WOMAN. HER ONLY INTEREST IS INFLICTING PAIN. - Lady Boys of Bangla Road. No words, no pictures…just…You have been warned.
I did not take this picture (thank you internet, sorry Bea) - Eating Insects on Khao San Road. You have been warned.
Yes. I had to pay to take this picture. But then I took it a step further and purchased a cockroach for dinner. After peeling its legs and shell off, I ate it. A girl watching me asked how it tasted. I said “like chicken.” She said “Really?” I said “Actually, not at all. It’s musky and disgusting!” Now, at least I know if there is a nuclear winter, I will quickly choose death over eating cockroaches. Gregor Samsa thanks me. - Crabby. Not the island, not the crustacean…the mood. Everyone has their turn (even in paradise), including me.
- Sunburn. Never have figured out a way to avoid it, even with sunscreen.
I did not take this picture (thank you internet)
So there it is, the last sunset of our journey. We were tired, but happy and full.
Everybody’s trip to India and Thailand deserves a happy ending, including me and my monkey!
(I couldn’t resist)
