WHAT WEEKLY

Obama Administration Denies Petition To Build Death Star

13 January 2013

★ whatweekly

20130113-101918.jpg

A petition sent to the White House to build a Death Star as a means to stimulate the economy has been denied. Here’s The White House’s response to the petition.

This Isn’t the Petition Response You’re Looking For

By Paul Shawcross, Chief of the Science and Space Branch at the White House Office of Management and Budget

The Administration shares your desire for job creation and a strong national defense, but a Death Star isn’t on the horizon. Here are a few reasons:

– The construction of the Death Star has been estimated to cost more than $850,000,000,000,000,000. We’re working hard to reduce the deficit, not expand it.
– The Administration does not support blowing up planets.
– Why would we spend countless taxpayer dollars on a Death Star with a fundamental flaw that can be exploited by a one-man starship?

However, look carefully (here’s how) and you’ll notice something already floating in the sky — that’s no Moon, it’s a Space Station! Yes, we already have a giant, football field-sized International Space Station in orbit around the Earth that’s helping us learn how humans can live and thrive in space for long durations. The Space Station has six astronauts — American, Russian, and Canadian — living in it right now, conducting research, learning how to live and work in space over long periods of time, routinely welcoming visiting spacecraft and repairing onboard garbage mashers, etc. We’ve also got two robot science labs — one wielding a laser — roving around Mars, looking at whether life ever existed on the Red Planet.

Keep in mind, space is no longer just government-only. Private American companies, through NASA’s Commercial Crew and Cargo Program Office (C3PO), are ferrying cargo — and soon, crew — to space for NASA, and are pursuing human missions to the Moon this decade.

Even though the United States doesn’t have anything that can do the Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs, we’ve got two spacecraft leaving the Solar System and we’re building a probe that will fly to the exterior layers of the Sun. We are discovering hundreds of new planets in other star systems and building a much more powerful successor to the Hubble Space Telescope that will see back to the early days of the universe.

We don’t have a Death Star, but we do have floating robot assistants on the Space Station, a President who knows his way around a light saber and advanced (marshmallow) cannon, and the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency, which is supporting research on building Luke’s arm, floating droids, and quadruped walkers.

We are living in the future! Enjoy it. Or better yet, help build it by pursuing a career in a science, technology, engineering or math-related field. The President has held the first-ever White House science fairs and Astronomy Night on the South Lawn because he knows these domains are critical to our country’s future, and to ensuring the United States continues leading the world in doing big things.

If you do pursue a career in a science, technology, engineering or math-related field, the Force will be with us! Remember, the Death Star’s power to destroy a planet, or even a whole star system, is insignificant next to the power of the Force.

 

 

 



nightlife

Comedy Noir

Sexual deviance, death, stupidity, mental illness, brutality, murder: don’t you love ‘em? I do, but not in the form…

Gateway at Ruintown

SCREEN PASS

Shodekeh at The Meyerhoff

Boite: Show and Tell

Emily Wells: Symphony 1 In the Barrel of a Gun

social innovation

Peace Spore

Blood soaked Vietnam draft papers, peace mantras, deep ethical questions that might never be answered discussed during a no-holds-barred forum…

When It Works

International Fest 2011

Baltimore Time Bank

Living my Dream in Cherry Hill

Station North: Thinking Big!

artist profiles

Mathew Bainbridge

For the past 15 years, Detroit native Mathew Bainbridge has worked at the top of the Baltimore film industry. His…

Cara Ober

The Tailor at Hour Haus

Dr. Bob: Life on the Fringe

We Are Gone

The Impact of Jack Radcliffe: A Mentor’s Story

sustainability

An Ambitious New Charter School Comes to West Baltimore

Publishers’ Note: Green Street Academy is a client of What Weekly’s sister company, What Works Studio. We are proud to have…

Small Time

Farmageddon

Strange Folks at Ash Street Garden

Baltimore Free Farm

Welcome to the Free Farm