I moved to Baltimore in 2010. My lease on my Hampden home is up December 31st and I have to make a decision: Do I want to stay in Baltimore or do I go explore another city? Over the next six weeks, I will bring you along on my journey as I explore what Baltimore has to offer, before making my final decision.
Photo by Larry Cohen
Part 1: Hampden
At the present moment, Baltimore seems to me like a moldy cheeseburger that has been sitting in the fridge for too long. It was good when I bought it, but now it is not as appealing. Sure, if I’m drunk enough I will eat around the moldy parts and it might still taste good. But then again, it may not.
Unfortunately, you can’t take the mold out of a moldy cheeseburger. Trust me, I’ve tried and it was nothing but a big waste of soap. However, I would like to believe that when it comes to Baltimore, I can preserve the good parts so that I can enjoy them even when I’m not intoxicated.
I’ve lived in Baltimore for about two years. Hampden was a delicious bacon cheeseburger with bottomless fries when I moved in. Now I have let it sit too long and it has developed a questionable musky aroma. I know that there are certainly good parts, but sometimes when I look, all I see is a moldy hunk of meat that probably should have been thrown away months ago.
Don’t get me wrong, I still enjoy frolicking along The Avenue when the weather is between sixty and eighty degrees, the humidity is below forty percent, and the wind is below five miles per hour.
The Avenue is actually the bacon on my bacon cheeseburger. Many of the cafés offer coffee that is so good I don’t need creamer. I typically like my coffee white and am often accused of being a racist, but in Hampden no one accuses me of anything because I drink it black. It is that good. I can do so while penning sonnets in leather bound journals in a dark corner of the café wearing a beret.
Actually, I don’t (usually) do that, but I often admire the local artists that are showcased at the cafés while drinking my black coffee. Hampden is great at showcasing local artists. Since I only frequent The Avenue in certain weather conditions, there are always new artists on display each time.
Photo by Larry Cohen
The quirky boutiques have also not grown moldy. In fact, the moment I knew Hampden was for me was the day I found a bible flask in one of the boutiques. I later learned that this bible flask was also sold at Urban Outfitters, but I had already signed my lease. After I moved in, I learned that Hampden boutiques are much more than a bible flask.
And the food? Well, let’s just say it is much more delicious than a moldy bacon cheeseburger with bottomless fries. If you have ever wanted to move to Mexico, Italy, or Arizona just come to Hampden instead. Hampden offers food from around the globe. You can look at pictures on the Internet while you eat if you want to actually see the sights.
Now that I have presented you with a picture of my neighborhood, I am realizing it is not that bad. I guess I am simply growing restless in my Hampden bubble and need to explore new things. There are other bubbles like Philadelphia that seem bigger and more iridescent. But there are also other bubbles in Baltimore which I have yet to discover.
Clearly Baltimore is much more complex than a moldy cheeseburger. Perhaps Baltimore is actually an artisan cheese tray, even if some of it is about to go stale. In truth, I’ve only tried one type of cheese named Hampden and I need to sample the other varieties. I need to go out and explore, as I am certain there’s is a lot more going on beyond The Avenue.
So, by now you know that I am not vegan. It is lunchtime and I have a limited time to make a very important life decision. Do I stay in Baltimore? Or is it time to move on? Over the next few weeks I will be taking bites of a questionable cheeseburger, and exploring the different flavors the city has to offer. Perhaps I will find something delicious. If not, it will be time to clean out my fridge, pack my car and head off on a new adventure.
I’ve heard that the grass is always greener on the other side. I don’t think I am colorblind, but I think I will get that checked out.
