Let’s Talk About Valentine’s Day
We’ve got a little over 2 weeks remaining. While I’m the first person to want to completely dismiss the day, I suppose, as a dating blogger, I’ll have to acknowledge the day. Here’s how to handle the day that won’t make you go completely insane.
Have A Date?
Lower Your Expectations
As with most holidays, the best way to enjoy them is by not expecting too much. If you go into it expecting flowers, an expensive dinner, a diamond necklace, or all kinds of other extravagancies, you’ll be sorely disappointed—same goes for an expectation of sex. If you have someone to spend Valentine’s Day with (be it friends or a significant other) be grateful for that! Everything else is just icing on the people-give-a-shit-about-me cake.
Do Some Planning
It’s important to do some planning. If you want to go the dinner route, you should be making a reservation now! Seriously. The super fancy, fixed menu, reservations are probably already booked up. If you intend to do something else like attend an event, get the tickets in advance. Don’t just expect to show up & walk in. Not only is it a holiday, it’s also a Friday Night! If you’re cooking a meal at home, have the ingredients, have the meat thaw, have the nice wine. Put some effort into it! You have no obligation to do anything but if you start it, don’t half ass it!
What If You Just Started Dating?
First of all, I shouldn’t even have to say this but do not go on a first date on Valentine’s Day. That’s worse than a New Year’s Eve first date (wouldn’t recommend a second date either). Now, if you’re somewhere within the 3 dates to 3 months dating range, you might find Valentine’s Day as an awkward wrench in the nice thing you’ve got going on.
The trick is to not give the new person in your life the whole night. Don’t make a big deal about it, just say, something like, “I’m going out dancing with my friends on Friday night but let’s meet up for happy hour or I’ll come by at the end of the night & watch a movie.” Now you still get to spend some of the day with them but without the planning & pressure.
Bring a small gift like a box of chocolates, a silly gag gift, or something you can share like a bottle of wine. You probably shouldn’t spend more than about $25 so if they don’t get you anything in return you don’t feel completely scorned. Adult tip: Just talk about it like big girls & boys so there’s no ambiguity!
What If You’re Single?
Do whatever you want! I suggest a House of Cards viewing party, personally, but really, the night is yours. If you’re feeling particularly couple phobic, avoid the fancy places (see: all of Mount Vernon & Federal Hill) and head to the dive bars for cheap drinks and a good time—many are having specials. There’s not a better indicator of singleness than those out alone on Valentine’s Day so this is prime date scouting time. If you meet someone cool, you’ve got the weekend ahead of you.
What If They Don’t Want to See Me?
I take issue with people that make Valentine’s Day out to be such a big deal! If you want to see a person, and the person is adamant on not seeing you, at all, they probably have some issues they need to work out and you should reconsider the relationship. It’s not a marriage proposal nor does it define the relationship. It’s just a holiday. If someone is asking you to grab a slice of pizza with them on Valentine’s Day and you interpret that to mean they’re professing their love for you, that is entirely your own neurosis. If you’re shocked, scared, or surprised by someone you’re sleeping with (or want to sleep with) wanting to see you on this day, you may not be on the same page romantically and should have a discussion regarding that, like an adult.
Really, you should be buying the love of your life/right now tickets to see Kanye West at The Baltimore Arena on Valentine’s Day because that’s the gift that keeps on giving.
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