WHAT WEEKLY

The Heartbleed Internet Bug As Understood By My Mother

09 April 2014

★ Nik Oldershaw

Can I still print in color? Okay. So, alright, the bug is on the desktop? Have they tried moving the bug to the trash? Oh. But my emails are still on time, right? What if I get someone else’s email, can you do “return to sender” with an email? Hang on. Alright, I threw a blanket over the webcam. So which sites are safe? Is Google safe? Is Youtube safe? Pinterest? Am I going to lose all the Allison Krauss lyrics I pinned? What do I do if I see the bug? You know, one time my cursor turned into a rainbow wheel and I couldn’t click on anything so I took my laptop to Radio Shack, they said they couldn’t help me but I knew they could at least look. Anyway, they lucked out because when I opened it up for the young man at the counter my mouse was back right where I left it! Has Congress tried that yet? have they tried closing the internet for a minute? What? They want to steal my passwords? Good luck I have those written down in a drawer. Is it just one guy doing this? How is he going to remember all those?



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