Charmed & Dangerous is a dating blog maintained by a twenty-something facing dating in Baltimore. The C&D blog is not only for singles but for anyone looking for fun ideas in Baltimore. This week Charmed & Dangerous tackles the daunting task of date-planning, and the struggle between spontaneity and preparedness.  

Anonymous Question: Should I plan things or just go on impulse?

As a general rule of thumb, the person doing the asking should plan the date or at the very least have some kind of idea as to what they’d like to do on the date. Regardless of who asked, if your heart is set on doing something, you should let the person know. If you really want to go to that show at Metro Gallery or you’re dying to do trivia Sunday night at Sticky Rice, then say so! It tends to take the pressure off both parties if an activity is already established. This is also a good way to ask someone out—just mention you’re going & tell them they should come too.

You should be prepared for your date not to be down for your suggestion. While you should be accommodating, this is a good way to establish your compatibility. If you want to see a Dan Deacon set at 1AM but your date has an 8AM class at Charm City Yoga the next day or if they want to go to Burger Wars at Mother’s and you would be more at home at One World, it may not be a good fit. Not saying it won’t work out, but it’s something to consider.

As for going on impulse, pick a neighborhood as a meeting point (Fell’s Point or Hampden are always a good starting point) then let the rest of the date fall into place. I’d only attempt this kind of spontaneity when you have a few hours during the day. The default for being impulsive during the week usually just ends up at a bar, which is such a lame cop-out.

Don’t use being spontaneous as an excuse to be lazy. Always have a backup plan. Be aware of what is going on that night so you have options. Know when your favorite bars & restaurants stop serving food & normally close. There is a difference between seeing where the day takes you and saying, “I don’t know. What do you want to do?”

Flexibility is sexy. Being unprepared is not.

Submit questions to hey@charmed-and-dangerous.com or anonymously at www.baltimore-dating.com/ask

  • http://www.zufalladventures.com/ Zufall Adventures

    Nicely put Charmed and Dangerous. There is a big difference between being to lazy to plan a date and rolling spontaneously. But, when spontaneity works, it’s pure magic. Besides, “I don’t know, what do you want to do?” is a phrase that can haunt relationships for years…why start with the first one!

    • Anonymous

      Thanks! Glad you liked it :)